natashalevinger:

sparklingpants:

caz:

If anyone remembers Walter and his sad story I am sure they will be overjoyed (and brimming with tears like me) when they read the latest news.

Original photo

:)

Walter!!!!!

The highly anticipated celebrity blog from the queen of media herself, MISS TILA (formerly Tila Tequila), is here!  Launching Monday, May 3rd, at 11:30PM Pacific Time, the site (www.MissTilaOMG.com) unsurprisingly was an immediate success with over 17,000 views in its first five minutes.  The user comments are overloading the site, the updates are frequent, and the numbers are growing by the second.  There is no stopping Miss Tila!

I’m glad Tila is classing it up by dropping the “Tequila” and adding the “Miss.” Anyway, here is some sample editorial about a photo of Christina Hendricks:

Christina Hendricks at some Gala thingie but who the hell cares???? LOOK AT THOSE COT DAMN MELONS!!!!!!!!! How many dehydrated people in a country can she save with them balloons? Melons? DIZAAAAAAAAM!!!! This one gets a KAPOW BAM BOOYA! Them thangs looks like one of those waterbeds from the 80′s! Remember those squishy waterbeds? Mmmmm…. Squishy Melon Tits. Me likey! The dress… not so much…. So ummm… Christina, I think u should take that dress off! Who here agrees?

Note to future brides with an illustrator boyfriend: It’s very hard to draw a date being saved in your cutesy “save the date” card and not have it look like a piece of poop. Back to the drawing board.

I can’t sleep. Too much thinking about the wedding. If I were an interesting sort of person, I would be up in my dark Brooklyn apartment, drinking wine an listening to the thunder while contemplating this momentous and exciting and terrifying new step in my life. Instead, I’m eating Pirates Booty and watching “Girls Meets Gown.”

Nat and I are taking the wedding planning very seriously. He said he would like to walk into the reception to the Mortal Kombat theme song (posted above for your listening pleasure) with smoke machines and a possible zip line, but of only if one can be set up in time as he’s no groomzilla.

Shit.

This was on TMZ.com (I’ve been doing a lot of online research today about Sandra Bullock’s secret baby trump card) and it made my day. It’s always nice to see people with a sense of humor, isn’t it?

Is it bad everytime I see this “Glee” character off of the show I think, “It’s a miracle!”

wellthatsadorable:

This turtle is the guy who walks into parties yelling “Ohhhh HELL YEAH,” pounds a beer, high fives everyone and then makes the DJ play Jump Around. This turtle is also best friends with Matthew McConaughey.

PS - It’s Tumblr Tuesday, give WTA at shout out!

natashalevinger:

sparklingpants:

daveholmes:edp:

Click on the picture and scroll down for Walter’s sad story, then please donate and become a part of the happy ending. 

Oh, desk tears. I just donated. (Any leftover funds will be donated to rescue organizations.)

Some assholes tried to treat his mange with bleach and then tossed him out of a car onto the street.  A group of amazing people have decided to band together to save him.  Happy & sad tears all in one!!  Help save Walter!

The Phanatic is the best mascot fake-living today.

Because I’m old and boring, I wanted to find out how often I should change the potting soil for my plants (answer: every year. Sorry Madagascar Dragon Tree!). But in typing, “How often should I” yields very interesting results. It seems like people are very concerned about how often they should deal with their hair, poop, and animals.

When it comes to pooping, shouldn’t the answer be, “When you feel like you need to?”

This is what my soul feels like right now thinking about next week’s vacation.

Alexander Neubauer, editor the new book “Poetry in Person: Twenty-five years of Conversation with America’s Poets,” let Metro readers know why the art form is so important. 

1. It’s music to the ears.   Literally. 
The earliest poems were sung. Rhythm and rhyme helped poets remember long verse and bring kings and queens, not to mention maidens, to tears.  Minstrels entertained with poems, storytellers retold the sagas of war, and songwriters from Gershwin to Dylan gave them melody.  If you want to give your ears a treat—or your date’s ears — read a poem the way it’s meant to be read: aloud.

2. It overturns the ordinary. 
Ask yourself why kids love hearing good poems. Like a bowl teetering on the lip of a table, poems seem on the verge of anarchy.  Words toss about in sudden ways, metaphors pair uncommon things, the “world” is a “stage” and chaos almost reigns.  Good poems put the ordinary on notice. 

3. It moves you.  
I’m speaking about love. And the body. If read aloud poems are pushed along with the sound and movement of breath.  Vowels and consonants collide or blend.  Sometimes breathing is its very sense.  Brain patterns change.  Your brain may not understand a poem, but you feel it in the blood.

4. It calls attention to detail. 
How aware are you of your horse’s harness bells? What if you don’t even have a horse? Robert Frost makes you aware and, for some reason, awareness of things is contagious.   Poetry brings the world closer.

5. It’s good for the “soul.”
I don’t know where the soul resides or even what it is.  But poetry nurtures connections you didn’t know existed, or rekindles some you’d long forgotten: between object and people, nature and city, time passing and time standing still. It’s really a small thing that, if you let it, expands everything.

I just sent Nat that adorable photo of lambs to show how we shouldn’t eat them, and he sent me back that. Showing that not only are we doing society a favor by eating lamb, but we should also probably get a medal.